【QUOTES DIRECTORY】 【QUOTES DIRECTORY】

【TOP 42】Monty Python Quotes - WhatsApp Status | Page-1

Are you looking for Monty Python quotes? If Yes, then you have reached at right place because this page has a collection of popular Monty Python quotes which are updated in 2024. Following are the list of some top Monty Python quotes, You can copy and paste below quotes and share with your friend and family on whatsapp, facebook, twitter.

Page 1 of 1, Showing 42 of 42 Records

«
»

First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. (

First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!

Always look on the bright side of life. - Monty Python Quotes

Always look on the bright side of life.

No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. - Monty Python Quotes

No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there? - Monty Python Quotes

I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?

Acting And Actors

Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster. - Monty Python Quotes

Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. - Monty Python Quotes

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.

He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot! - Monty Python Quotes

He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!

What? Ridden on a horse?''Yes''You're using coconuts!''What?''You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!''So? - Monty Python Quotes

What? Ridden on a horse?''Yes''You're using coconuts!''What?''You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!''So?

Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't. - Monty Python Quotes

Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't.

Funny

We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing! - Monty Python Quotes

We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

Funny

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. - Monty Python Quotes

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? - Monty Python Quotes

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end. - Monty Python Quotes

The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. - Monty Python Quotes

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Fear

Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands. - Monty Python Quotes

Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! - Monty Python Quotes

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!

Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of. Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!Biggles: Here they are, lord.Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?Biggles: Yes, lord. - Monty Python Quotes

Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of. Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!Biggles: Here they are, lord.Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?Biggles: Yes, lord.

I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! - Monty Python Quotes

I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Food

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean? - Monty Python Quotes

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?

Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy, - Monty Python Quotes

Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy,

Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy, - Monty Python Quotes

Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy,

There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not - Monty Python Quotes

There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not

Of course, itÃ¢â¬â¢s a bit of a jump, isnÃ¢â¬â¢t it? I mean, erÃ¢â¬Â¦ chartered accountancy to lion taming in one goÃ¢â¬Â¦ You donÃ¢â¬â¢t think it might be better if you worked your way towards lion taming, say via banking? - Monty Python Quotes

Of course, itÃ¢â¬â¢s a bit of a jump, isnÃ¢â¬â¢t it? I mean, erÃ¢â¬Â¦ chartered accountancy to lion taming in one goÃ¢â¬Â¦ You donÃ¢â¬â¢t think it might be better if you worked your way towards lion taming, say via banking?

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! - Monty Python Quotes

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!

Funny

He must be a king.Why?He hasn't got shit all over him. - Monty Python Quotes

He must be a king.Why?He hasn't got shit all over him.

Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark - Monty Python Quotes

Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark

He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy. - Monty Python Quotes

He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy.

Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok - Monty Python Quotes

Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok

God

-She turned me into a newt! -A newt?-I got better... - Monty Python Quotes

-She turned me into a newt! -A newt?-I got better...

Well she turned me into a newt!

Well she turned me into a newt!""A newt?""I got better...

This is a dead parrot! - Monty Python Quotes

This is a dead parrot!

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. - Monty Python Quotes

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

Fear

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am - Monty Python Quotes

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am

My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white - Monty Python Quotes

My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white

Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed! - Monty Python Quotes

Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!

Ã¢â¬ÅThis morning, shortly after 11 oÃ¢â¬â¢clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy.Ã¢â¬Â - Monty Python Quotes

Ã¢â¬ÅThis morning, shortly after 11 oÃ¢â¬â¢clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy.Ã¢â¬Â

Tis but a scratch'
'A scratch?! Your arm's off!'
'No, it isn't.' - Monty Python Quotes

Tis but a scratch' 'A scratch?! Your arm's off!' 'No, it isn't.'

What? Ridden on a horse?'
'Yes'
'You're using coconuts!'
'What?'
'You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!'
'So?' - Monty Python Quotes

What? Ridden on a horse?' 'Yes' 'You're using coconuts!' 'What?' 'You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!' 'So?'

Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it - Monty Python Quotes

Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it

Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Rogerthe Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. - Monty Python Quotes

Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Rogerthe Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord. - Monty Python Quotes

Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess? Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of. Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS! Biggles: Here they are, lord. Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance. Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about. Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions! Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess! Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord. Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end? Biggles: Yes, lord.

This morning, shortly after 11 oclock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy. - Monty Python Quotes

This morning, shortly after 11 oclock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy.

Page 1 of 1, Showing 42 of 42 Records

«
»

Quotes By Popular Topics

View All Topics (A - Z)

Like Our Facebook Page

Motivational, Inspirational, Funny Quotes